Tuesday, April 28, 2026
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#NotSatire

Why Be Adventist When the Church Drives You Crazy?

Honest answer? You probably have a list of reasons to leave. Most of them are valid. The institutional self-protection. The debates that never land anywhere. The conference that seems more...
#NotSatire

Which Sins Get Adventists Judged—and Which Get Them Promoted?

In Adventist culture, not all sins carry the same weight—and everyone knows it, even if no one says it out loud. Some will get you in immediate trouble: adultery, embezzlement,...
Uncategorized

Local Adventist Agrees With Pope, Deeply Uncomfortable About It

Man unsure whether to share article or burn phone COLLEGEDALE, TN — Area Seventh-day Adventist and longtime prophecy chart enthusiast Gerald Finster, 58, confirmed Tuesday that he agrees almost entirely with Pope...
#NotSatire

Silver Spring Is Not Heaven. Fortunately, That’s Not the Point.

If you’ve spent any time watching the General Conference operate, you’ve probably had the thought. The politics. The procedural delays. The votes that feel like...
Uncategorized

Forty-Two Percent of Everyone Who Joins Us Eventually Leaves. Let’s Talk About That.

That’s not a rounding error. That’s a pattern. Since 1965, more than 18.5 million people have joined the Seventh-day Adventist Church and then walked away...
Uncategorized

Your Gay Kid Didn’t Leave Because of the World. They Left Because of Us.

We told the story wrong for decades. The version we preferred went like this: the world is seductive, the flesh is weak, and our children—raised...
Ellen White

Ellen Was a Sick Teenage Girl Who Changed the World. Don’t Underestimate What You Have.

She was nine years old when a rock hit her in the face and changed the trajectory of her life. The injury left her disfigured,...

Adventist Culture

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Breaking the Cycle of Adventist Blackmail

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In Adventist circles, everyone knows everyone else’s business—and sometimes...

We’re Not a Cult… We’re Just Theologically Spicy

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The cult label gets thrown at Adventists because we’re...

Friendship Isn’t a Mission Field

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When people talk about “friendship evangelism,” it often feels...

Adventist Shaming: A Better Way Forward

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There are many absolutely beautiful aspects of Adventism. I...

Adventist Food

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Does BarelyAdventist Hate the Church?

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Between the satire, the memes, the open questions, the...

When Testimony Time Feels Like a Competition

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Testimony time can be one of the most beautiful...

You Are Not a Prophet

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  For decades, the Adventist Church has had people who...

Superstitious Church leaders scrap 13th Sabbath tradition

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SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In a dramatic shift for...

Sabbath Observance

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What If the Three Angels Actually Had Good News?

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We’ve turned the Three Angels’ Messages into the theological...

Pastor Delivers Entire Sermon On Grace, Ends With 11-Point Checklist

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In what attendees are calling “a spiritual experience with...

How Worried Should You be that Your Congregation isn’t Growing?

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Look, let’s be real for a second. If your...

Bible Study Circle Quietly Reviews Anointing-Oil Contingency Plans

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Last Tuesday, as news of the U.S. naval blockade...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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