Monday, January 26, 2026
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Adventist College Replaces DEI Officer With Suggestion Box

In a bold move toward administrative efficiency, a major Adventist college has officially replaced its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion officer with a single suggestion box, calling it a “more...
Trump

Trump Vows Never to Put Tariffs on Adventists Because Ben Carson

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold new economic promise announced today, former President Donald Trump vowed he would never impose tariffs on Adventists—because Ben Carson is one. “I have tremendous...
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The Thing That Still Drives Me After All These Years

I grew up as a missionary kid, and there’s something exhilarating about being a missionary that never really leaves you. My mom used to say that while there wasn’t much money in...
Evangelism

Why Counting Baptisms May Be the Least Honest Metric We Have

Let’s start here: when someone chooses to follow Jesus, that matters. It’s the most significant decision a person can make. Heaven rejoices. So should...
Marriage

God Is Not a Sadist

God’s ideal is clear: a loving, faithful, life-giving marriage. For most people. Notice I said most. Some are genuinely better off single. Scripture affirms this...
Uncategorized

Overthink 2026 (On Purpose)

We’re all thinking about 2026. The year is here whether we’re ready or not, and it’s easy to approach it with dread—economic anxiety, cultural...
Uncategorized

Attention, Adventist Digital Creators

There has never been a better time to be an Adventist digital creator. Even as legacy institutions struggle to hold attention, the opportunity for individuals...

Adventist Culture

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Stop Trading Your Questions for the Exit

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Adventism is messy. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t be...

Incel thinking thrives where masculinity is reduced to authority and femininity is reduced to temptation.

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When the church makes space—intentionally or quietly—for misogynistic ideas,...

Adventism’s Secret Problem Isn’t the World—it’s Us

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We spend so much time looking outward—at secularism, politics,...

Why Be Adventist When There Are So Many Great Churches?

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Adventism thrives for the same reason it frustrates: it...

Adventist Food

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Why Holiday Dinners Are Not the Time to Defend the Sabbath

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Holiday dinners have a way of turning otherwise reasonable...

Why do people leave Adventism relieved—and why don’t we want to hear that?

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When people leave Adventism, many describe something unexpected: relief. Not...

Heaven’s Most Misunderstood Office Job: The Sanctuary Doctrine

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We believe Jesus didn’t float...

If I’m Doing the Lord’s Work, Why Are My Colleagues Idiots?

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Anyone who has ever worked for a church institution...

Sabbath Observance

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We Don’t Need to Agree

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  Growing up on missionary campuses felt like a miniature...

BREAKING: Trans-European Division Deploys Pathfinders to Defend Greenland

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In a decisive and extremely well-badged move, the Trans-European...

Trump Announces “Very Peaceful” Invasion of Pitcairn Island After Discovering It Keeps the Sabbath

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PITCAIRN ISLAND (Somewhere Near Revelation 14) — U.S. President Donald...

Are We Making Too Much of a Deal About the Sabbath?

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The Sabbath is a gift. It’s a commandment, yes—but more...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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